And I Will Try To Fix You

Come December, I will have been a receptionist for seven years. A job I was told would be a "stepping stone" after graduation. A job I never expected to love. A job I never expected would change me. A job that, after all these years, still surprises me daily. Oh, and frustrates me daily. (These are both good things.)

I love meeting new people and making friends with my regular visitors. I love having something that keeps me busy all.day.long. I love when people realise the indirect power I have. I love being able to passive aggressively mess with jerks.

People can be absolutely nasty to people in a service related job. Whether it be a waiter, cashier, or receptionist. I'll never understand the need to be rude to another person. Especially someone who is trying to help you.

I'm not saying it's right to spit in someone's food. To put your bread on the bottom of the bag, or to send your calls directly to voicemail. I'm not even admitting these things happen on purpose.

But they might.

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What's In Your Cup?

In our office, we have a three-pot coffee maker. Anyone who reads my twitter knows I have a love-hate relationship with coffee. I occasionally drink it at work out of desperation. The coffee is swill, but I cope because I don’t want to be a coffee drinker. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to like about coffee. Besides the caffeine boost, it’s fresh, hot, and free (unlike many other beverages).

After working here for five years, I recently learned how to make the coffee. I rarely drink it but I enjoy making it. One thing bothers me. We normally have two pots of regular brewed. People are constantly drinking from the freshest pot, leaving the other pot half full. Maybe I’m irrationally annoyed, but wouldn’t the logical thing be to drink from the older pot? Finish it up before starting a new one? We would all like the freshest coffee but some of us are considerate enough to resist. Maybe I’ll start flipping the pots so they think they have the freshest one. Yeah, that’d make me happy.

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By Whatever Means Necessary

I feel relieved. I think. I got what I wanted, but took the coward’s route. My need was simple: Get my vacation request approved. Instead of getting up the nerve to bring my slips to my boss, I left them in her mailbox. My excuse, albeit pathetic, was true: I forgot that the slips were on my desk (I didn't mention it was intentional). Regardless the result's the same; I’m going on vacation!

I love going on trips, but I hate this panicked feeling. Part of it is because I can’t plan for everything. I also hate to spend money. The bigger part is now I have no vacation time left. I don’t have a buffer of extra time. Which brings me to another point, why do I feel guilty for going on vacation? I earned it. Leaving on vacation feels like a death sentence. I’ve seen it happen before. You train someone to do your job (feels like giving away trade secrets) and next thing you know they have your job.

Maybe I shouldn’t worry. As I find out every time I come back, no body else wants my job.

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And Did It My Way

Tech support calls are challenging. It's a call no one wants to make and a job no one wants to work. Today, it was unavoidable. I send the payroll for the company through ADP’s site. It requires a digital cert. Mine expired and I wasn't notified because they had issues.

The Princess is in charge of payroll and made the initial call. She passed the call to me and they sent an e-mail to follow. No problem. Except I hit an error before I could download the cert. Princess calls again and tells me to stay on the phone until it's resolved. The second tech was worthless. She didn’t listen and seemed annoyed when it didn’t work. I explained it again. She randomly reset my password. She had no clue. I got a case number and hung up. Half an hour with her was enough.

Princess was annoyed with me. Having to call a third time was a major inconvenience. Apparently I was supposed to be aggressive and demand someone else. Or not. I got the problem resolved with the third tech without being rude.

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Et Tu, Facebook?

Everyone knows I like twitter. I enjoy the random, semi-personal aspect of it. I don’t, however like Facebook. It fills me with regret, angst, and doubt. Facebook reminds me of school when you had to pick a group. I was plagued that they may not want to play with me. It brings back those memories; connects me with old friends, classmates, and bullies. Because of this, I wait for a friend request. I figure it means they want to play.

Today, I boldly sought someone out. While searching, I came across another name. A name that should be in blue, only it was black. I was removed! I spent most of junior high with this guy. We had a falling out, but later became Facebook friends. He has over 400 friends, yet singled me out. I’m not the most prolific user, but to burn me again?

It's proof I need to spend less time worrying about old friends. Being friends 15 years ago doesn’t mean we have anything in common now. Twitter is customized to my interests, not who I feel obligated to talk to.

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Psychotically Early

I got to work early today. It was a rare morning where everything clicked into place. Is this how it is for other people? I got up, got ready (without rushing), and it was still early. Normally this isn’t possible even if I wake up early and rush. Somehow those extra 20 minutes melt away and I get to work at the same late time. It’s frustrating.

I can only conclude that I suck at the mornings. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t suck at mornings. I was late to kindergarten and it’s been a thing ever since. I don’t enjoy being late, nor do I try to be. It just happens. Someone might psychobabble it’s my passive aggressive way of asserting myself. If that’s the case I’m doing it unconsciously. If you tell me how, I’ll try to change.

I have a theory. For the person who is always on time, I’m their counter-balance. There are two sides to everything. Night and day, summer and winter. That aside, I truly believe that there is no good reason to be late. Not that this helps me be on time.

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You Will Not Win

We have a few guys in the office. One is nicknamed Drama Llama, for good reason. One Friday afternoon I left my receptionist post to visit (it gets lonely).

This annoyed him. We have no caller ID so each call is new and potentially important. He decided to call the office from his cell. Several times. Hanging up each time. This happens occasionally so I didn’t think much of it. When it kept happening, it was obvious it was intentional. See also freaky.

Finally he burst out laughing and fessed up. He said I was talking too much and I should get back to work. Oh. Clever llama. Prank calls stopped being cool in 6th grade. I wanted to report him for misuse of the company phone. I could have missed an important call while dealing him. Plus it was upsetting.

I didn’t report him but my revenge has been passively sweet. I don’t screen his calls anymore, nor do I page him. He gets any telemarketer, cold call, or salesmen I can justify. Don’t mess with the receptionist; I’ll win in the end.

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Passive-Aggressive This!

I wanted to write a post about how as a receptionist, lying now comes easy to me. I started to research a trait I’m often accused of: passive aggression. Even with Wikipedia’s questionable research, I can see why I’m accused of it. However, it seems difficult to diagnose or to recognize in oneself. Plus, depending on how you define it, it can apply to practically everyone or no one. Maybe it's the disorder of the day.

If nothing else, it should be considered a coping technique. In which case, can you fault someone for it? Sometimes we need to cope. It's better than the alternative. (So says the self-coined, passive-aggressive middle child.) My favourite opinion I read was we should consider calling an ass an ass. It’s more to the point and likely more accurate.

I’m also a passive driver. Hate on me for that if you must, but I have a perfect driving record. No accidents, no parking tickets, and never been pulled over. However... it proves to be the slower way to get from point A to B.

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