August 26, 2009

Sandman, I'm So Alone

This last month has been exhausting. I find myself starring at my monitor and seeing nothing. Last night I tried to repay my debt to the Sandman, but he’s not an easy man to please. I treated myself to a two-hour nap and it turned into a nap of the dead. I call it that because you wake up with no cognitive skills. I only knew that I had been asleep. The time, day, location, and month were a blurry question mark. While the nap was amazing, it terrifies me to wake up so disorientated. (On the positive side I was 100 percent sober and in my own bed. I wonder how I would cope waking up in a stranger’s bed. It was hard enough to reassure myself that it was Tuesday night.)

With my nap plus seven additional hours of sleep, I started today with my fingers crossed. Too often I’ve been waking up tired, drifting off all morning, and napping during lunch. It gets old. It turns out my debt was not repaid. I spent the morning sipping coffee and pacing. Plan B is to learn how to work while asleep.

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