Rick Deckard VS The Telemarketers

Inside jokes are obnoxious. On rare occasion, they're useful. So begins the story of Rick Deckard. Telemarketers are slimy, sneaky, and persistent. Just like the Queen, they want Rumpelstilskin’s name to gain power. To cope, I came up with a plan. Give them a fake name. Simple right? It only works if it's believable.

My boss asked today who Rick was. I told him he was our god (as far as employees go). He’s anything telemarketers ask for: IT, Marketing, Owner... I have a fake voicemail with no name. It has an extension associated, but no phone. It rings silently before going to voicemail. This amused him (ironically not my other boss).

When I get a call for Rick, I can check the voicemail, see if it's important, and deal with it. It works beautifully. My other boss thought I should say we weren’t interested. Really? Have you tried that? It’s their job to get a name. I’m busy. Either I can be rude, hang up, or debate. Two out of three will cause certain death. The other wastes my time.

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